Blog Archives

why We Attract who We Attract…

Do you notice patterns in your Love Life? You are constantly looking for that relationship that satisfies your personal needs and how to get those needs met 

Your attachment style determines who you attract.

The more you understand your style, the more you are likely to understand your weaknesses and strengths which can compliment or harm your relationships.

According to the Attachment Theory, there are 4 types of attachment styles:

  1. Secure Attachment: Warmth and love come naturally, and you are able to be intimate without worrying about the relationship and tend to share little misunderstandings. You tend to have a secure attachment style if you have grown up in a loving and secure family upbringing. You feel safe and independent because you felt as such growing up. You de-escalate problems by problem-solving, forgiving, and apologizing. You are open and direct about feelings and shortcomings.
  2. Anxious Attachment: this particular attachment can be draining as it may be difficult for you to feel satisfied in your relationships. You are likely to rely on your partner to be happy or to ease your fears. You can can also be constantly worried you will lose them, causing you to become more clingy and possessive. You crave such a close and intimate relationship, that you tend to put yourself and your needs second to accommodate your partner, which in turns causes you to become unhappy and resentful in the end. You lead yourself to stress and anxiety overcomes your relationship. You then tend to play games and/or manipulate your partner to get attention and reassurance in your relationship.

  3. Avoidant Attachment: with this attachment style, you tend to isolate yourself from your partner, and seek full independence, which can come off as not really needing a partner and avoiding emotional connection. Your independence and self-sufficiency are more important to you than intimacy.

  4. Fearful Attachment: fearful of letting yourself get too close to your partner and fearful of being too distant with your partner are two fears that confuse you and others around you, as your emotions are unbalanced you tend to confuse your partner, on an emotional roller-coaster, confusing yourself and your partner.

According to research, around 50% of the general population has a Secure attachment style, 20% has an Anxious attachment style, and 25% has an Avoidant attachment style.

Let’s now look at some relative facts. This Theory of Attachment tells us that some attachment styles are more likely to be drawn to certain styles. 

What does this mean? 

Point 1. If you are an Anxious or Avoidant, you are unlikely to be with someone that is Secure, as you find them to be too boring and not providing enough drama, and Secure Attachment will not provide that for you.

Point 2. Two Avoidants cannot possibly work as they spend their time avoiding each other which calls for a bad relationship then and there. 

Point 3. Two Anxious people make for an unpredictable and high stress relationship, which is simply doomed from the get-go. 

Point 4. If you are Anxious , you are more likely to mesh with someone Avoidant, and vice versa. An Anxious and an Avoidant are two attachment styles that are complimentary together as an Anxious person is willing to wait around for commitment and the Avoidant partner tolerates the behavior of the Anxious. Whether this is a healthy relationship, I would assume otherwise, however it does mesh, until changes occur, which they can.

Point 5. Nonetheless, individuals with Secure attachment can be with any Style of attachment, according to this theory because they can validate their partner’s feelings and help them overcome their fears, and for some, this is comforting.

What Attachment Style do you relate to? If you are not satisfied with your style, then look back into your childhood and really look into what made you this way. Once you can understand it, you can change it. Sometimes, you may need a little help, from a parent, a sibling, a psychologist, or someone, to really look deep and understand why you are who you are.

If you want a healthier relationship, if you want to seek a lasting relationship, it is never too late, it is not impossible.

Find the Best You. You will Find the Best Partner.

Advertisements

There is Creative People… and There’s The Others…

This article hit home for me….

What creative people do…. and what they do to you…. Hmmm….

You gotta Love them but GOD you want to kill them!!!!

I know two AMAZING and CREATIVE individuals and Yes!  All true! but you Love them Hate them and Envy them All at the Same time! but GOD they strain a relationship. 

if you are not understanding … please take 2 minutes to read this article.

It made me Smile!!!!!!

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/20-things-remember-you-love-highly-creative-person.html?mid=20150409&ref=mail&uid=393464&feq=daily

How to Keep your Passion?

In a relationship, passion falls, eroticism is lost, the sexual concept dies.

Esther Perel describes the secret to desire in a long-term relationship, she explains how relationships they need innovation and for this reason, sex dies and good intimacy fades.

So what should we do?

We must stay connected by striving to live with passions and do what makes us happy, by doing something you are passionate about, you are happier, hence your partner feels it. When you are not NEEDING the other person, but WANTING them, that is healthy and hot. Experience connectedness and closeness but do be separate as well, do not depend on your loved one, this will only end bad. You want to stay Passionate, do not let yourself go.

WHAT IS YOUR PASSION?
FIND IT!!!

 

Take a look at this:

Esther Perel The secret to desire in a long-term relationship

 

Now, One last advise: DON’T GIVE UP AND KEEP WORKING HARD!

 

Take this story as a warning:

http://elitedaily.com/news/world/man-writes-about-wasting-life/841316/

What’s In A Relationship?

A friend of mine blogged about Relationships, and how to make them last as healthy as possible.

We all know that your boy(girl)friend, fiance, husband (wife), whoever it is, will not always stay the same way for always. The *In Love* phase doesn’t always last as we want. Forever and Ever, well is not always the case. SO, if you are having problems in your relationship or if you want to keep your relationship at its best for as long as you can, read this article about a single man that travelled around the world interviewing couples. This is what he found out:

Self Love
Commitment
Trust
Intentionality
Don’t Fight To Win
Seek to Understand
Just Be Nice To Each Other Seriously

*So, to find out what these mean, scroll down to The best advice from a single guy… in the link below:
http://oohtiny.wordpress.com/2014/02/28/february-favourites/

Relationship Status: Be The Best You Can Be

Being in a relationship, it is a lot of work. Sometimes a relationship can make you ill from all the arguments and problems that can occur. But it can all be avoided by simply knowing how to treat your other half.

I have been in a relationship for quite a long period and I have always had to practice these few tips in my own relationship, and these are to respect the person you are with, to listen to him/her, to please him/her, to always seek to better yourself, to challenge him/her to be better for them self, to have that trust between each other and to simply love one another.

I know from my experience, I always strive to show respect to my boyfriend, we make sure that we are both becoming better people together and challenging each other, I have noticed that my boyfriend truly follows these 10 traits of a ‘Great Boyfriend’ and this is why we still are striving today for that great relationship, because as long as one person is teaching these traits the other will follow them too and learn their value. So if you have been feeling some tension lately with your other half and you don’t know what is causing it and how to deal with it, take a second, consider these traits and see if maybe there is something that you can be doing better to better your relationship.

Follow this link, it really is a great way to have a meaningful relationship. I may demonstrate how a boyfriend can Great, but I truly feel this is a great link for both women and men.

http://ca.askmen.com/top_10/dating_top_ten_60/64b_dating_list.html