Category Archives: About Humans

Your Relationships and Your Space

beingaloneistough

I find myself not having enough time for me… who is ME?

Do you know who YOU really are?

I think for me, I do not have enough time in the day for ME… I think I know who I am and what makes me happy, but I don’t, or I don’t follow it. I want it, I seek it…

All I know is I need me! Me! Me time.

This video made me think a lot about some of the choices, the options, the lifestyle I am currently living, which makes me feel CHOKE, actually.

Maybe you don’t need to always see your friends, maybe you don’t need to make constant commitments, maybe you are not able to commit, maybe you just need to divert. Do you understand me?

Take time for YOU, take singular time for you. Make time to think, on your own, without distraction. It is easy to get distracted, to make plans, to not THINK of your problems and what you need to CHANGE, but you can and you must make the TIME FOR YOU.

Grow yourself within yourself!

 

Keep in mind … Great Minds Think Alone!

But please watch this quick video, and feel with me…

 

Advertisements

why We Attract who We Attract…

Do you notice patterns in your Love Life? You are constantly looking for that relationship that satisfies your personal needs and how to get those needs met 

Your attachment style determines who you attract.

The more you understand your style, the more you are likely to understand your weaknesses and strengths which can compliment or harm your relationships.

According to the Attachment Theory, there are 4 types of attachment styles:

  1. Secure Attachment: Warmth and love come naturally, and you are able to be intimate without worrying about the relationship and tend to share little misunderstandings. You tend to have a secure attachment style if you have grown up in a loving and secure family upbringing. You feel safe and independent because you felt as such growing up. You de-escalate problems by problem-solving, forgiving, and apologizing. You are open and direct about feelings and shortcomings.
  2. Anxious Attachment: this particular attachment can be draining as it may be difficult for you to feel satisfied in your relationships. You are likely to rely on your partner to be happy or to ease your fears. You can can also be constantly worried you will lose them, causing you to become more clingy and possessive. You crave such a close and intimate relationship, that you tend to put yourself and your needs second to accommodate your partner, which in turns causes you to become unhappy and resentful in the end. You lead yourself to stress and anxiety overcomes your relationship. You then tend to play games and/or manipulate your partner to get attention and reassurance in your relationship.

  3. Avoidant Attachment: with this attachment style, you tend to isolate yourself from your partner, and seek full independence, which can come off as not really needing a partner and avoiding emotional connection. Your independence and self-sufficiency are more important to you than intimacy.

  4. Fearful Attachment: fearful of letting yourself get too close to your partner and fearful of being too distant with your partner are two fears that confuse you and others around you, as your emotions are unbalanced you tend to confuse your partner, on an emotional roller-coaster, confusing yourself and your partner.

According to research, around 50% of the general population has a Secure attachment style, 20% has an Anxious attachment style, and 25% has an Avoidant attachment style.

Let’s now look at some relative facts. This Theory of Attachment tells us that some attachment styles are more likely to be drawn to certain styles. 

What does this mean? 

Point 1. If you are an Anxious or Avoidant, you are unlikely to be with someone that is Secure, as you find them to be too boring and not providing enough drama, and Secure Attachment will not provide that for you.

Point 2. Two Avoidants cannot possibly work as they spend their time avoiding each other which calls for a bad relationship then and there. 

Point 3. Two Anxious people make for an unpredictable and high stress relationship, which is simply doomed from the get-go. 

Point 4. If you are Anxious , you are more likely to mesh with someone Avoidant, and vice versa. An Anxious and an Avoidant are two attachment styles that are complimentary together as an Anxious person is willing to wait around for commitment and the Avoidant partner tolerates the behavior of the Anxious. Whether this is a healthy relationship, I would assume otherwise, however it does mesh, until changes occur, which they can.

Point 5. Nonetheless, individuals with Secure attachment can be with any Style of attachment, according to this theory because they can validate their partner’s feelings and help them overcome their fears, and for some, this is comforting.

What Attachment Style do you relate to? If you are not satisfied with your style, then look back into your childhood and really look into what made you this way. Once you can understand it, you can change it. Sometimes, you may need a little help, from a parent, a sibling, a psychologist, or someone, to really look deep and understand why you are who you are.

If you want a healthier relationship, if you want to seek a lasting relationship, it is never too late, it is not impossible.

Find the Best You. You will Find the Best Partner.

Friendships & Marriages: Find Your Roots

A really good friend of mine sent me this video and told me I was the Root in her Tree, so I watched this video and understood the beauty of friendships and love. Her love was real; some love are temporary and others are real. I really can’t describe this video any better than ‘Madea’. So please watch this and reassess your relationships.

 

Words of Wisdom

elders

They say trust your elders, I saw their right. Experience is everything in life. Learn from other’s mistakes, you don’t always need to make them yourself, and you know what, when it comes to these words of wisdom, you really don’t want to make them yourself because that will be a life full of regrets. You don’t want to wake up at 60 saying What did I do to My life? Gosh, do I regret my life. You don’t want that, it is scary.

So I read this article today Advice from some old people, and it was a wake up call.

Please take a look at the 20 tips given by older people to teach you a little something about life. Do’s and Don’ts.

I don’t want to wake up at the end of my life regretting the little things that don’t even end up mattering. Wake up, live a better healthier loving life. Don’t dwell on things that mean nothing. Dwell on what really matters. Take care of yourself and those that mean the most to you.

Read this article and hear every piece of advise loud and clear: Advise from Some Old People

Were You Dealt a Bad Hand?

I was listening to this video while driving to work in the morning, and found myself dumbfounded with how right this guy is.

First of All. We have grown up in a society where things are just given to us, we don’t work for things, life has been given to us, sadly for some of us, our parents baby us and we end up growing older feeling that we will get what we want, but YOU NEED TO WORK FOR IT. Most of us try to work for something and as soon as we notice it is taking a lot of work, we stop and move to the next thing, but why can’t we live with purpose?

Second of All. Technology and how it has ruined us. Can we sit on a table without our phones beside us on the table? Can we wake up without looking if someone LIKED our photos on Facebook?

CAN YOU CHANGE IN 2017? STOP LIVING OFF YOUR PHONE!

I know that the phone is one of my Resolutions for 2017. I am a VICTIM of this non sense and waste of life.

I hate the phone.. I sometimes sit with my friends at a restaurant and I might as well be sitting alone. Phones are evil if you ask me, they used to be for the sole purpose of safety and conversation, however when you are safe and conversing with someone, why do you need to waste your time on the phone?

Socialising is no longer fun. You sometimes go out with a group of people and more than half of them are on the phone, Social Media is one of the culprits. HOW IS THAT QUALITY TIME? Why are you even meeting? What about when you are out with a friend and all they do is “text” someone else, that is not even there; it is clear that you are not as important, you are not as interesting, you might as well not be there.

If you are sitting at dinner with your friends and you are texting someone who is not there, that is a problem!

I hate phones, how would a simple outing go without phones? God Forbid, you get their full attention and you actually have a decent conversation, a decent time. Wake up, you are living in a society where you rather talk to an object than talk to a person.

Third of All. Instant gratification is a problem these days, people have no patience to wait for things anymore. This generation is problematic. People have no time to find love, to accomplish something, to finding a fulfilment in their life.

Please watch this video, It will change your life. It really should.

Be the Happiest YOU!

 

Happy-Woman

Are you Happy?

Are you TRULY Happy?

I am very Happy. Life is beautiful and I know I am, finally, happy.

What determines your happiness? How do you know you are happy? In my opinion, it is when you feel free and so positive about life. When you wake up and say, I have it great. Smiling as your smiling down  the street, and not because you are starting a new relationship, but because you are single and happy with yourself. YOU ARE HAPPY.

I found this article that tells you in 6 steps what makes you a happy person. I loved it, I really enjoyed it, because I have surpassed all these steps, and I know that I am happiest I have ever been. So, don’t envy, because it took me a long time to get where I am today. You will too. Keep positive and do follow these steps.

BE HAPPY, Life is short and you know it.

  1. WORK ON YOURSELF, instead of focusing on other people and what you think makes them happy. The best happiness is the happiness within. You can seem happy to others, on the outside, but true happiness is the one within you. When you are satisfied with what you have accomplished and what you are doing for yourself. Following people on Social Media, and envying how fun their lives seem (how happy they ARE) People choose to show what they want you to see, remember that. True happiness  cannot be shown from the outside. Even the funnest, funniest, coolest people can be depressed. Don’t be fooled by the visual. Look at Robin Williams. Exactly. Focus on Yourself as a person and make yourself WHOLE.
  2. YOU ARE YOUR OWN WORTH, so don’t ever let anyone determine your worth. You are as good as you act, as good as you feel. Don’t ever let anyone bring you down with your choices and your way of being. No one should tell you you’re embarrassing or you’re weird. The best people are the weirdest in my opinion, imagination comes from the oddest individuals. There is a fine line between genius and crazy. But you know what, that is beautiful, you are your own kind of beautiful. Everyone is beautiful and everyone is different. What would life be without diversity. Don’t judge others, judge yourself. Self-worth comes from within.
  3. CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY, happiness comes from practicing gratefulness. You must decide that you don’t want to live behind your tears. Don’t wait on your happiness to come to you. Grab it by the leg and make it your own. YOU decide when you must be happy, it is not when I finally get this or once this person comes into my life. You are your own happiness. Embrace challenges, learn from experiences, bad and good, GROW and BE happy.
  4. STOP HOLDING ON TO WHAT WAS, the past is the past for a reason, you can’t bring it back. Stop holding on to your past, the best is yet to come, your future is your best. You can only move forward, moving back into the past, no one was ever able to do that, so why try now? Don’t be bitter of the past, stop living in the past. Live for your future, make a change and find your own success.
  5. SURROUND YOURSELF IN POSITIVITY, If people bring you down and diminish your ability to grow, lose them. Only people that are positive and supportive should you keep. Your surroundings are very influential to you so why influence yourself in a negative way? It is better to be alone than around people that bring you down. That does mean you are lonely, be careful, there is a big difference. You only find true happiness when you are alone, when you focus on yourself, and that does not mean you are lonely whatsoever, it means you are YOU, self-reflecting AND finding your way and improving.
  6. STAY HONEST WITH YOURSELF, You don’t need to lie to others to make yourself seem more lovable or approvable. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone. Be happy with YOU. Don’t change for anyone’s approval. Taking criticism is not a bad thing, but know what is honest and what is not. Always work to better yourself, but remember to stay truthful to yourself. Be free to make your own choices and fighting for what you believe in. Don’t be embarrassed or scared to be yourself, ever.

I really hope to have influenced you, even that 10%. You need to find your happiness.

Grow and find YOU. It all starts somewhere. That does not mean no sadness will ever come into your life, but you will see… You will be able to deal with those times in ways you never knew possible.

See more: Six Things Happy People Never Forget

Brain of Sexes

This video is absolutely hilarious!

Check out the difference between women Brain and men brain… Yes… it’s somewhat true, sadly.

Enjoy 🙂

The Happiness of Being Grateful!

Do you want to be Happy?

Of Course you do. Everyone does.

What if I told you I know the answer for being happy, but you need to follow it religiously in order to really be happy. That’s not to say you will never have moments of sadness, it’s life.

I loved reading this article because it truly showed me the meaning of Gratitude. It showed me the meaning of happiness. Being happy, to me, is not only my happiness but the happiness of others too. That is, bringing happiness to people around me.

The trick to being happy is to be grateful for what you have because you are blessed. If you are reading my blog at the moment, you are more blessed than many people because you have the ability to have access to the Internet and a computer and definitely shelter. So, take a moment to be thankful for that. Love what you have and give love to those that need it. Love can be simply shared through gratitude, that is, gratitude of others. Are you grateful to have family, friends, colleagues, health, abilities, skills, …? It takes a few seconds to thank someone and these seconds from your life can really make a difference in theirs. Not only that, but scientific studies have shown that gratefulness leads to happiness, so it’s a win-win situation.

So, the pursuit of happiness should drive you to action, because it can and will make a whole difference.

Matt Richardson, co-founder of Gramr Gratitude Co. states that 

Scientists believe that 40% of our happiness is influenced by intentional activities. 40% is a lot. You are in control. Be good to yourself by being grateful. Be good to others by thanking them for who they are, and what they do for you.

He recommends a simple intentional activity that can take as little as 5 minutes of your time in the week if you want to be happy.

Each week write one thank you note to someone who makes your life better. That’s one handwritten thank-you note per week. Not a text, not a Facebook post, but a heartfelt, handwritten thank-you note, which indicates to someone that you spent time on them because they matter. It could be your best friend, your yoga instructor, your hair stylist—it could be anyone. Your relationships will become more meaningful, you will become happier, and so will everyone you touch. All it takes is a few minutes of mindful gratitude each week—remember, you are in control of 40% of your overall happiness, and remember that we are all in this together. So let’s start a habit, and let’s start a movement.

So take a moment, think of those you are grateful for in your life, and write to them, tell them. Take time for them. A simply Thank You may mean very little to you, but to those that love you and you love, or those that care about you and you care about, it makes a difference, and you will notice, this difference will make you a lot happier. You will find a happiness you forgot about or one you’ve never known about.

Thank you all for being proud followers of my blog! Your constant trust in my writing makes me happy. I hope my posts continue to make you happy and bring a smile to your day.

Genders & The Power of Sex

We know how much men tend to Sex appeal. When men are exposed to women bare in any way, shape or form, they get aroused. It doesn’t take too much for a man to feel aroused when there is any skin showing on a woman.

Women, on the other hand, are not as easily touched. This being said, a man can walk naked in a room and it won’t drive her nuts, whereas a women knows what she is doing when she walks naked into a room. He wants her.

It’s just the way the gendered brain works. Sex is on a man’s mind almost 24/7 if not to say a full 24/7. It not their fault, it’s just the power of hormones and our nature. Men are sexual beings, more so then women. Studies have shown it too. The thing is, studies have also shown that women get aroused on effects beyond their acknowledgement, they get physiologically aroused without knowing they do. But that is a study on its own for another day.

This is to show that women are not as sexually compelled by the power of visualization as men are. This explains as well the power of the man’s second brain. Enough said.

Watch this, you will be impressed with the findings.

Goals Goals Goals

“Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems, in my opinion, to characterize our age.” – Albert Einstein

It is sad what this world has become.

What are your goals? Do you know then? Do you have any?

You might if you actually took the time to think about it… But no, your too busy making the *big bucks* and probably still not achieving it.

Life is not about the money.  Money is evil, money is a distraction, focus on what’s important. Goals.

If you find a goal that can give you drive. follow that road. It leads to happiness, money is only temporary happiness, if any.

So I say to you on this Wednesday morning. Find your Goals and follow them. Find your happiness and stop seeking the perfection of means.

Have a great Wednesday!